I truly didn't loose any of them...

Hello friends, I had a wonderful time in the states and thank you so much for you prayers. The time I spent with my family was absolutely wonderful and I loved every second of being in the US again. But I also missed my babies in China and that made it a lot easier to leave my family and make the journey yet again back to China. But I wanted to share some new things going on in my life here in China.

At Starfish Foster Home we receive orphans through a partnership with surrounding government orphanages. Mostly the Starfish home cares for babies with cleft liip, cleft palette, cardiac complications or spina obifida. But almost 2 months ago we got 6 new babies from a local orphanage. All between the ages of 2 weeks old and 7 weeks old, there were 4 boys and 2 little girls. Myself along with several other volunteers became responsible for these precious children. Almost all of the infants were severely malnourished and none of them weighed more than 5 lbs. Their names were Moses, Aaron, Anthony, Issac, Helena and Megan. I’ve learned several things while being in China but one thing I never expected to learn was how to literally nurse children back to health from being severely malnourished. It is very intense work regulating their feeding schedules and monitoring their intake of milk. But equally important to caring for these precious little babies physical needs we were blessed with the opportunity to shower these children with love and comfort. So we began the 12 hour work days in the back bedroom of the foster home constantly caring for these children as if they were our own flesh and blood. We were responsible for caring for these children for 5 weeks. So day after day I woke up and cared for these babies to the best of my ability. And I showered them with as many kisses and cuddles as I could. Needless to say the bonds that we created with these children were very strong and we felt like these babies were depending on us. During those 5 weeks with my babies we were constantly having to send babies back and forth to the hospital for different reasons and every time I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and that I had failed them. But God was constantly there ministering to my heart and allowing me to see that I was only a vessel and no one could save these children besides Him. All I could do was love them while I had them and rejoice with them if our Father decided to take them home to be with their true forever Father. 

And out of those 6 babies we cared for we had to say goodbye to 3. After 5 weeks the remaining babies were placed in the care of other nannies care because their health was showing steady improvement. And I still have found my eyes tearing at the thought of the 3 babies we lost. And sometimes the tears come and all I can do is praise God that they are no longer suffering. But one little baby boy was very hard for me to loose because he had been making great improvements and was assumed to be healthy. His name was Moses. And suddenly one day he left us all on this earth to be with the one that loves him more than I could ever imagine of loving someone. And he passed away while I was in the States, and I broke. And the Lover of my soul was faithful to minister to me in my brokenness. I was mourning the loss of my sweet babies not being on this earth with me anymore and God gave me this picture in my mind as if I had turned on the TV and I was watching a movie. “I was walking through heavens streets singing praises to my Father in perfect happiness when all of a sudden I see my precious Moses walking up to me. Healthy and smiling Moses just walked up to me and we were both spending all of eternity singing praises to the Creator.” Oh Jesus, how I want to sing your praises for all of eternity with my precious babies at my side. 

But out of the 6 babies we had, 3 are still living and are healthy today. (Thank you Jesus) And I get to still give them kisses and hugs daily. And you wouldn’t believe how fat those 3 are! Oh my word, they are doing so well and they are growing up so fast. They constantly make us giggle and laugh at how chubby they’ve gotten and at how cute they are. 

So in the end we lost 3 of our babies and we still have 3 of our babies. But I am so grateful that I haven’t really lost any of them. The 3 that are in heaven I will spend eternity with and the 3 that are still here on earth I get to spend everyday with showering them with love and praying that ultimately their souls will be reunited with me in heaven. Thank you Jesus for loving us like you do. When we can’t understand Your will, You are faithful to give us faith. And I am so thankful for the faith that you’ve allowed me to have. Thank you for the time that you allowed me to be in China, and with these precious children. Your goodness brings me to tears of worship.